†The Lighter Side Welfare

Sentences taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in application for support.

†1. I am forwarding my Marriage Certificate and 6 children. I have seven but one died,†† which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

2. I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old.†† When do I get my money?

3. Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regulary by the clergy.

4. I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why?

5. I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.

6. This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?

7. Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with canít eat or do anything until he knows.

8. I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my son
illiterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married a week before he was born.

9. In answer to your letter. I have given birth to a son weighing 10 pounds, I hope this is satisfactory.

10. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see.

11. My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago and I havenít had any relief since.

12. Unless I get my husbandís money pretty soon, I will be forced to live an immortal life.

†13. You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?

14. I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.

15. In accordance with your instructions. I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

†16. I want money quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for 2 weeks. And he doesnít do me any good. If things donít improve I will have to send for another doctor.

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