Tech Support

 Why we should feel sorry for tech support people:

 A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman thenresponded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point.
 The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is
working fine."

Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.  Now type
the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 Overheard in a computer shop:
 Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
 Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
 Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

 I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document
back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keepit.

 Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"

 I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that start
 something like this:
 Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"

 Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to
"The Internet."
 Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"
 Tech Support: "Yeah."
 Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
 Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."

 Tech Support: "All double-click on the File Manager icon."
 Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons --
 I'm aProtestant, and I don't believe in icons."
 Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was  meant to --"
 Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in
 Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a
 file 'little picture' OK?"
 Customer: [click]

 Customer: "My computer crashed!"
 Tech Support: "It crashed?"
 Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
 Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
 Customer: "No, it didn't crash -- it crashed."
 Tech Support: "Huh?"
 Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my
 spaceship and now it doesn't work."
 Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
 Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

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