You know you're an Internet Junkie when...

 

   1.You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your  email on theway back to bed.
   2.You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 3.0 or higher."
   3.You name your children Eudora, Yahoo, and Dotcom.
   4.You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
   5.You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap... and your child in the overhead compartment.
   6.You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
   7.You laugh at people with 28.8k modems.
   8.You start using smileys in your snail mail. :)
   9.Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch.
You pick up the  phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with their  modem... (If you actually connect that way, you need SERIOUS help!)
  10.If you're broke and your modem burns out, and you go to the streets to sell your house hold goods to get a new  one.
  11.You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word
processor.com
  12.You refer to going to the bathroom as "downloading".
  13.You start introducing yourself as "JohnSmith at Domain dot Com".
  14.All of your friends have an @ in their names too.
  15.Your cat has its own home page.
  16.You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.
  17.You check your mail. It says "no new messages". You check it again.
  18.Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
  19.You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames  and you never bothered to ask.
 20.Your service provider calls YOU for tech support.
  21.You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
 22.You tell the cab driver you live at "http://1000.edison.garden/house/brick.html".
 23.You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
 24.You go shopping Online
 25.After reading this, you immediately forward this url to all your friends.



Back to Time for a Laugh
Back to Homepage
  1