The following are actual statements
found in insurance forms where
car drivers attempted to summarize
the details of an accident in
the fewest words. These instances
of faulty writing served to
confirm that even incompetent
writing may be highly
entertaining.
1. Coming home, I drove into the wrong
house and collided with
a tree I don't
have.
2. The other car collided with mine without
giving warning of
its intention.
3 I thought my window was down, but
I found out it was up when
I put my head through
it.
4. I collided with a stationary truck coming
the other way.
5. A truck backed through my windshield
into my wife's face.
6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my
car.
7. The guy was all over the road, I had
to swerve a number of
times before
I hit him.
8. I pulled away from the side of the road,
glanced at my mother-in-law,
and headed
over the embankment.
9. I attempted to kill a fly, and I drove
into a telephone pole.
10. I had been shopping for plants all day, and was
on my way
home. As I reached
the intersection, a hedge sprang up
obscuring my vision
and I did not see the other car.
11. I had been driving for forty years, when
I fell asleep at the wheel
and had an
accident.
12. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end
trouble and my
universal
joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
13. As I approached the intersection, a sign
suddenly appeared
in a place
where no sign had ever appeared before. I was unable
to stop in
tim to avoid the accident.
14. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in
front, I struck
the pedestrian.
15. My car was legally parked as it backed into
the other vehicle.
16. An invisible car come out of nowhere, struck
my car and vanished.
17. I told the police that I was not injured,
but on removing my
hat, found
that I had a fractured skull.
18. I was sure the old fellow would never make
it to the other
side
of the road when I struck him.
19. The pedestrian had no idea which direction
to run, so I ran over him.
20. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman
as he bounced
off the hood
of my car.
21. An indirect cause of the accident was a little
guy in a small
car with
a big mouth.
22. I was thrown from the car as it left the
road. I was later found
in a ditch
by some stray dogs.
23. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting
to swerve out
of its way when
it struck my front end.