Accident Report forms

The following are copies of ACTUAL written statements submitted to
the police on report forms.  (Or at leat they claim to be ACTUAL
statements.You be the judge.)  The drivers were instructed to give a brief
statement on the particulars of the accident in their own words.

Woman Driver(WD): Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and
collided with a tree I don't know.

Man Driver (MD): I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at
my Mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

WD: The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went
to rest in the bush with just his rear end showing.

MD: In any attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

MD: I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at
the wheel and had an accident.

MD: An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and

WD: The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over

WD: I saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off
the hood of my car.

MD: The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times
before I hit him.

WD: To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the

WD: I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side
of the roadway when I struck him.

MD: My girlfriend kissed me.  I lost control and woke up in the

MD: When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas
and crashed into the other car.

MD: As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared
in a
place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.  I was unable to
stop in time to avoid the accident.

MD: The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small
car with a big mouth.

WD: I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

MD: I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat,
I found that I had fractured my skull.

WD: I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became

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